1 00:00:02,920 --> 00:00:06,049 - She's a lawyer and pisses with men. -Ally McBeal. 2 00:00:08,636 --> 00:00:11,765 -I can't stand him. -Dennis Miller. 3 00:00:13,851 --> 00:00:20,192 -A very skinny singer. -Everyone who was in Lilith Fair. More. 4 00:00:20,276 --> 00:00:25,241 -Her "heart won't go on". -Celine Dion! 5 00:00:27,744 --> 00:00:35,504 - Time is up. - We have 30 and you have 217. 6 00:00:36,547 --> 00:00:41,219 -You came second. -Can I have some more? 7 00:00:41,303 --> 00:00:46,768 Harry and I saw Celine Dion on Oprah. He likes it. 8 00:00:46,852 --> 00:00:51,274 -Lindsay doesn't like TV. - She would rather go to the park. 9 00:00:51,357 --> 00:00:57,407 How are the Knicks doing? I want so badly change the subject I take to sports. 10 00:01:00,369 --> 00:01:05,876 Just one more thing. Harry caught a ball, and we filmed it. 11 00:01:05,959 --> 00:01:13,052 - They filmed it, Will. - Did you manage to film it? 12 00:01:13,135 --> 00:01:16,473 -You favor him. -No. 13 00:01:16,556 --> 00:01:20,228 -Yes. -No, Riley just annoys me. 14 00:01:20,311 --> 00:01:25,526 - The Satmaran defies me. -Do you have to say satmara? 15 00:01:25,609 --> 00:01:27,987 She is a satmara. 16 00:01:28,071 --> 00:01:31,951 Do we have to talk about everyone's dogs? 17 00:01:33,495 --> 00:01:36,540 You feel guilty because I want one, but you don't. 18 00:01:36,624 --> 00:01:41,672 Grace means that her biological clock...is ticking. 19 00:01:42,756 --> 00:01:47,012 You don't have to breed, you can adopt. 20 00:01:48,639 --> 00:01:52,310 Oops, it's a quarter to... Stick. 21 00:02:04,034 --> 00:02:07,788 What are we doing here? Will doesn't want a dog. 22 00:02:07,872 --> 00:02:15,465 I just listened to him nagging about bad smells, stains and shedding. 23 00:02:15,548 --> 00:02:19,387 I said, "It didn't bother your ex." 24 00:02:19,470 --> 00:02:22,265 Look, a lhasa apso. 25 00:02:26,020 --> 00:02:31,777 Hello, little puppy. Hello, my stinky little puppy. 26 00:02:31,861 --> 00:02:37,368 Stop the puppy talk before I throw up my lunch. 27 00:02:38,995 --> 00:02:43,209 Look how rare it is. It sits in its bowl. 28 00:02:44,168 --> 00:02:46,296 Yes, he is talented. 29 00:02:48,048 --> 00:02:53,555 Choose one. Castrate it and put it in a bag and off we go. 30 00:02:57,602 --> 00:03:04,528 - No, I can't get a dog. - Well, you have to - for Will's sake. 31 00:03:04,611 --> 00:03:11,954 They are guy magnets. I had a golden retriever, and he retrieved men. 32 00:03:13,873 --> 00:03:16,626 Those were golden times. 33 00:03:20,006 --> 00:03:24,303 Look, a chihuahua. It looks at me. 34 00:03:24,386 --> 00:03:29,142 He has cataracts. I give him two, three months max. 35 00:03:33,898 --> 00:03:36,610 Good night! 36 00:03:38,279 --> 00:03:40,741 I've had enough. 37 00:03:40,824 --> 00:03:46,623 You can have everything you want, only compromise. 38 00:03:46,706 --> 00:03:52,005 Like with Stan and me. If he wants to befriend- 39 00:03:52,088 --> 00:03:57,136 -I get a house in the Bahamas. Tit for tat! 40 00:04:00,140 --> 00:04:04,938 Now I'm not sure what you mean. 41 00:04:07,859 --> 00:04:10,487 Choose a dog now! 42 00:04:16,495 --> 00:04:23,253 I have bought Thai food again. I love the yum yai salad. 43 00:04:23,337 --> 00:04:27,968 You can tell from the name how good it tastes. Yum yay! 44 00:04:29,553 --> 00:04:32,515 You are a nerd. 45 00:04:33,975 --> 00:04:39,691 -A four letter word for elevator man? -Otis. 46 00:04:39,774 --> 00:04:44,197 -Good! I have bought a dog. -Huh?! 47 00:04:44,280 --> 00:04:49,620 -Yes, you are really smart. -Grace! 48 00:04:49,704 --> 00:04:57,046 You will love him. He is so handsome, and he has your eyes. 49 00:04:57,130 --> 00:05:01,302 - I have said no. -And your fangs. 50 00:05:01,385 --> 00:05:05,516 -Where is he? - He takes no place. 51 00:05:05,599 --> 00:05:10,605 Give it a chance. We were given a one-week trial period. 52 00:05:10,689 --> 00:05:13,860 It's a dog, no problem! 53 00:05:15,528 --> 00:05:19,492 -"Come on, Eileen!" -You... 54 00:05:21,786 --> 00:05:27,419 Do what you want, but it's unfair against the dog that it will freeze. 55 00:05:27,502 --> 00:05:32,008 - It should not sleep outdoors. - I thought you wanted company. 56 00:05:34,886 --> 00:05:39,100 Forget it. You are shady and inhuman. 57 00:05:39,184 --> 00:05:45,775 - I said I don't like dogs. - I'll return it tomorrow. 58 00:05:50,865 --> 00:05:54,829 -Is this him? -No. 59 00:05:57,749 --> 00:06:01,253 It's the character actor Charles Durning. 60 00:06:06,927 --> 00:06:13,644 Look after him for a while. He got used to shaking a lot in my bathroom. 61 00:06:15,522 --> 00:06:22,239 I wish you understood me. I'm not a dog person. 62 00:06:28,079 --> 00:06:29,999 Hello. 63 00:06:34,171 --> 00:06:41,096 Oh, I liked you right away. I liked you right away. 64 00:06:45,560 --> 00:06:50,483 Think so many cute guys that swarmed around you. 65 00:06:50,567 --> 00:06:56,074 -They just wanted to see my love lump. - Yes, they wanted that. 66 00:06:57,784 --> 00:07:02,081 -He almost caught the Frisbee. -I threw too high. 67 00:07:02,165 --> 00:07:08,005 You shouldn't scold him in front of the other dogs. 68 00:07:09,549 --> 00:07:15,515 I have to roar when he takes someone's blood pressure medicine. 69 00:07:15,599 --> 00:07:20,855 I understand, but he was embarrassed. 70 00:07:23,692 --> 00:07:28,115 Dogs cannot be ashamed. They are not as they accused in "Judy's Court". 71 00:07:28,198 --> 00:07:34,831 You pointed at him and scolded him in front of his friends. 72 00:07:34,915 --> 00:07:38,211 -His friends? -I mean... 73 00:07:38,294 --> 00:07:45,011 Give him a chance to be himself. This is an important time for him. 74 00:07:49,058 --> 00:07:56,860 I'm not your mother. If he's gay I will not stop him. 75 00:08:01,908 --> 00:08:05,829 Are you thirsty? Do you want Evian? 76 00:08:07,290 --> 00:08:13,381 I'm going to take a shower. Yes, I have arranged for dog daycare. 77 00:08:13,464 --> 00:08:16,510 -Which kindergarten? - Yuppy Puppy. 78 00:08:17,928 --> 00:08:23,101 - Yuppy Puppy? -"For career people's dogs!" 79 00:08:23,185 --> 00:08:26,523 Strangers should not raise my dog. 80 00:08:26,606 --> 00:08:32,655 Didn't you see the documentary where a woman hit a dog with a toy? 81 00:08:32,739 --> 00:08:39,748 It wasn't Yuppy Puppy, and it was a comedy show. 82 00:08:40,916 --> 00:08:44,671 Stay home with him tomorrow. 83 00:08:52,723 --> 00:08:54,892 Yes, ruler. 84 00:08:54,976 --> 00:09:02,277 I'm still going to renovate my bottle. Hang up, I'm working too! 85 00:09:02,360 --> 00:09:08,868 I'm taking him to work tomorrow, then you can take him the day after tomorrow. 86 00:09:08,952 --> 00:09:11,789 - I rest him in the evening. - I rest him after work. 87 00:09:11,872 --> 00:09:16,044 I want him every other weekend and all Jewish holidays. 88 00:09:23,095 --> 00:09:27,642 I advise you to use cash. - Yes! 89 00:09:27,726 --> 00:09:34,818 Liver is yummy, isn't it? - The company's value is inflated. 90 00:09:35,694 --> 00:09:42,036 I don't know. "Yummy" is probably too strong a word. 91 00:09:42,912 --> 00:09:46,333 Do you want water? 92 00:09:47,543 --> 00:09:52,799 - Guess I was a dog person anyway. - People like you usually like cats. 93 00:09:57,264 --> 00:10:02,061 -What do you mean? -Lawyers, of course. 94 00:10:03,897 --> 00:10:08,027 - I'll take the prospectus with me. -Here it is. 95 00:10:13,034 --> 00:10:19,876 Sorry. Fusions make him extremely nervous. 96 00:10:19,959 --> 00:10:26,009 -Don't be angry. - No, but it feels a bit pissy. 97 00:10:32,433 --> 00:10:35,729 The satmaran we hate is on line one. 98 00:10:40,319 --> 00:10:47,745 Hello! The fabric just arrived, and it is absolutely wonderful. 99 00:10:47,828 --> 00:10:52,751 Yes, it took time, but that's how it is with imported silk damask. 100 00:10:52,835 --> 00:10:58,383 And then it costs 2,000 dollars per meter. No, it's not funny. 101 00:10:59,635 --> 00:11:06,852 But that's enough for the chair, the ottoman and the sofa, so we can... 102 00:11:06,936 --> 00:11:08,938 You are naughty! 103 00:11:10,107 --> 00:11:16,073 No, I didn't mean you, without...my assistant. 104 00:11:16,156 --> 00:11:23,833 You are naughty and horrible! - Can you wait a moment? 105 00:11:23,916 --> 00:11:31,092 Baby, let go. This is not a game. Release! 106 00:11:34,012 --> 00:11:41,021 It's Karen, Grace's assistant. Silk damask is out of fashion. 107 00:11:45,318 --> 00:11:49,866 Who do I love so much? that I want to fire him? 108 00:11:55,790 --> 00:12:00,171 Can I give you a love bite on the nose? 109 00:12:02,882 --> 00:12:07,430 -Stop being a larva. - But he's so cute. 110 00:12:08,473 --> 00:12:10,976 Look at me! 111 00:12:14,314 --> 00:12:21,364 -You have been playing with the puppy for three hours. -So what? 112 00:12:21,448 --> 00:12:23,951 -You're obsessed. -No. 113 00:12:24,034 --> 00:12:31,836 -You have a puppy costume. - He was the one who started it. 114 00:12:33,296 --> 00:12:36,759 - We're going out tonight. - We can't. 115 00:12:36,843 --> 00:12:41,515 -Now we are here. Stick. -What are you doing here? 116 00:12:41,599 --> 00:12:48,941 We are the babysitters. I brought my girlfriend, we're going to hang out. 117 00:12:51,570 --> 00:12:57,118 We're going to the cinema. Jack will look after the puppy. - Karen, what are you doing here? 118 00:12:57,202 --> 00:13:01,499 The alternative was a neighborhood cooperation meeting. 119 00:13:01,582 --> 00:13:09,134 I can't bear to hear any more how much Phil recycles. 120 00:13:09,217 --> 00:13:13,723 Should we leave the puppy with Cruella de Vil… 121 00:13:17,394 --> 00:13:19,689 ...and Karen? 122 00:13:27,657 --> 00:13:32,038 We haven't been out for a week. 123 00:13:32,122 --> 00:13:37,337 We will soon resemble survivalists! 124 00:13:38,338 --> 00:13:41,091 I'll get my coat. 125 00:13:41,175 --> 00:13:45,597 -What's his name? - I like the name Otto. 126 00:13:45,681 --> 00:13:50,186 That's what fat dogs are called. Like father, like son. 127 00:13:51,271 --> 00:13:57,779 -What do you suggest? -Something like...Jack. 128 00:13:59,031 --> 00:14:02,619 Jack, don't lick the man in the face. 129 00:14:02,702 --> 00:14:07,458 - It would be too confusing. -Oh, now I got hold. 130 00:14:11,005 --> 00:14:16,762 shall we go I have to withdraw money for sweets. 131 00:14:16,845 --> 00:14:20,517 Go, you. I'm staying here. 132 00:14:20,600 --> 00:14:25,565 Go out and have fun. We will take care of the apartment. 133 00:14:25,648 --> 00:14:28,652 And your little dog. 134 00:14:32,407 --> 00:14:38,206 He's kidding. Come on, let's go. Will? 135 00:14:39,291 --> 00:14:45,298 -Come on! Come on, baby! - Fetch, Will. 136 00:14:47,176 --> 00:14:52,015 Sure, but I'll bring my cell phone. Call if there is anything. 137 00:14:52,099 --> 00:14:55,603 The vet's number is on the fridge. Play music for him. 138 00:14:55,687 --> 00:14:59,859 He likes R.E.M, but only the early discs. 139 00:15:01,235 --> 00:15:05,992 - Shall we feed him now? -Forget the dog. Where's the booze? 140 00:15:13,376 --> 00:15:16,964 Why did you buy the cheap dog food? 141 00:15:19,634 --> 00:15:24,348 This is our night out. Can't we just watch the movie? 142 00:15:25,725 --> 00:15:29,104 Did you tell us where we got the sausage candy? 143 00:15:29,188 --> 00:15:35,404 They find it. I put a bag in every box, just in case. 144 00:15:38,074 --> 00:15:42,038 -Is this place busy? -Oh no. 145 00:15:42,121 --> 00:15:47,753 -Hello. We met at John's party. -Yes, now I remember. 146 00:15:47,837 --> 00:15:51,383 Jack knows how the flexi-coupling works, right? 147 00:15:52,509 --> 00:15:58,976 Are you listening, Dad Will... He is cute and interested. 148 00:16:01,980 --> 00:16:04,566 do the hustle... 149 00:16:06,861 --> 00:16:12,618 Look, we're at Studio 54. - Hello, Liza, Mischa, and Bianca. 150 00:16:16,623 --> 00:16:21,880 I'm glad I decided to to clean out Grace's closet. 151 00:16:21,964 --> 00:16:25,885 She doesn't fit in yellow. 152 00:16:28,389 --> 00:16:35,856 A short skirt? Rosario, it's your lucky day. 153 00:16:36,899 --> 00:16:40,195 Oops! Come on, puppy. 154 00:16:41,822 --> 00:16:44,200 Calm and nice, Cujo. 155 00:16:46,787 --> 00:16:53,379 -Oh, it's 11pm! Where is the leash? -What's on it? 156 00:16:53,462 --> 00:16:58,594 It's now all hotties walks his dogs. 157 00:17:01,472 --> 00:17:07,480 I'm going home. I have to pay for the house in the Bahamas. 158 00:17:08,940 --> 00:17:13,822 Full focus now, puppy. Uncle Jack needs new shoes. 159 00:17:13,905 --> 00:17:17,368 Preferably with an accompanying hottie. 160 00:17:21,248 --> 00:17:28,298 Jack? Karen? - We shouldn't having let the von Bülows look after the dog. 161 00:17:30,051 --> 00:17:35,307 They are probably out resting him. You couldn't even see the movie clearly! 162 00:17:35,391 --> 00:17:38,937 - I like the dog. - Don't I? 163 00:17:39,020 --> 00:17:41,524 -You treat him like a... - Dog? 164 00:17:43,067 --> 00:17:49,158 - It's a dog, not the Lindbergh child. -I know... 165 00:17:49,242 --> 00:17:56,001 He left his chew toy. It's his transition item! 166 00:17:56,084 --> 00:17:59,964 -You're obsessed. - No, I'm not. 167 00:18:00,047 --> 00:18:02,884 -Give me your wallet. -What then? 168 00:18:06,764 --> 00:18:11,395 You have a picture of the dog in your wallet. Crunchball! 169 00:18:13,022 --> 00:18:16,110 I love this dog! 170 00:18:17,528 --> 00:18:24,537 We sat there in the park. He checked in rear parts, I checked out rear parts. 171 00:18:24,620 --> 00:18:29,293 Where have you been? Not at Boylesque, I hope. 172 00:18:29,377 --> 00:18:35,760 God forbid a dog without clothes would see a man without clothes. 173 00:18:35,843 --> 00:18:39,264 How dysfunctional are you? 174 00:18:39,348 --> 00:18:41,642 Well then, it's windy. 175 00:18:43,937 --> 00:18:49,444 We go and eat. Tell me when it's a break. 176 00:18:49,527 --> 00:18:55,159 - I'm coming along. -So you can see how much he eats. 177 00:18:55,243 --> 00:18:58,372 You must be confusing me with your mother. 178 00:19:02,502 --> 00:19:08,552 Don't start talking about our mothers. I have a lot of ammo. 179 00:19:09,595 --> 00:19:12,849 Please stop arguing. 180 00:19:15,978 --> 00:19:19,190 I can't handle you arguing. 181 00:19:22,486 --> 00:19:27,701 It's not your fault. Sometimes takes bad people home nice dogs. 182 00:19:30,747 --> 00:19:33,166 - Do you know what I think? -Yes. 183 00:19:33,250 --> 00:19:38,965 You think I want children, or something else stupid. 184 00:19:39,049 --> 00:19:41,886 -You need to go on a date. -What then? 185 00:19:41,969 --> 00:19:47,268 You need to give all your love to someone who is clean. 186 00:19:52,232 --> 00:19:58,824 Go on a date. It is high time. You already have a ragging replica. 187 00:19:58,908 --> 00:20:02,537 "Can I give you a love bite on the nose?" 188 00:20:05,040 --> 00:20:12,467 The men swarmed around you in the park. There was a hottie sitting next to you at the cinema- 189 00:20:12,550 --> 00:20:17,223 -but you only care about liver candy. 190 00:20:17,306 --> 00:20:22,813 - Sausage candy. - It's the same kind of food. 191 00:20:23,648 --> 00:20:28,195 -You don't need any more reasons to... -I understand. 192 00:20:29,488 --> 00:20:34,620 -Even if it were true... - That's it. 193 00:20:34,703 --> 00:20:36,873 We have a bigger problem. 194 00:20:37,916 --> 00:20:40,127 I can't have him at work. 195 00:20:40,210 --> 00:20:45,592 - Doggie daycare, then? - It's not fair to a puppy. 196 00:20:45,676 --> 00:20:51,308 -What do you suggest, then? - He should be with someone who has time. 197 00:20:51,391 --> 00:20:55,897 Who do we know who has that much time to spare? 198 00:21:00,486 --> 00:21:04,784 I'm not that into blondes, but you are amazing.